


Empty Skulls

by LikeWaterisWet



Series: Unus Annus Shorts [1]
Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Unus Annus - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Nonverbal Communication, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:29:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22065544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LikeWaterisWet/pseuds/LikeWaterisWet
Summary: Ethan has a bad day after a lot of filming, and his friends are there to help him calm down.
Relationships: Amy Nelson & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson
Series: Unus Annus Shorts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602670
Comments: 13
Kudos: 454





	Empty Skulls

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write this for a while. Ethan is the perfect projection character. This is purely a way for me to feel happy and comforted about things that are bothering me. It is mostly fluff which is a new one for me, hope you enjoy! As with all RPF's this is purely fictional and not a real representation of Ethan, Mark, or Amy. Please do not take this to be how any of them actually are in life.  
> UPDATE: Fixed some errors and added it to a new series ;)

They had been filming videos all day. It was their designated day to get as much content as possible for their new joint channel Unus Annus. It was starting to get well into the evening and Ethan could feel the exhaustion tugging limbs, pulling down on his movements and making his brain drift off more and more. It didn’t help that he hadn’t taken his medication in several weeks. His attention had been jumping from topic to topic faster than he had been able to pick up on what his thoughts actually were, making him feel like his mind was buzzing with bees. A headache was developing behind his eyes, and he was more than ready to lay in bed for several hours without having to put on a show for the cameras. He could also tell that Mark was slowly losing his patience with his rambling which just made him feel worse when he lost control of his mind.

  
They still had one video left to film before they would be done with their schedule, which was the only thing keeping Ethan from asking for a break. The video they were currently working on prepping was a simpler one where they just needed to stand in front of a greenscreen in their suits for a fanart update for a challenge they had given to the viewers several weeks back. The suit was tight around his body, feeling constricting and off, just adding to the growing sense of wrongness that was pervading his body.

  
Mark was bustling around the lights for the set up and Ethan knew he should be helping his friend to expedite the process, but he couldn’t find the energy to pull himself off of the couch he was splayed across. Amy was off in the corner petting Spencer who had wandered out a while ago.

  
“Ethan?” Mark called out, getting the cameras into position. Ethan lifted his head slowly from the couch to look at where Mark was standing. “Come be a reference point for the angle.” 

Ethan let out a loud groan as he pulled himself up from the couch. As soon as he was fully vertical his vision whited out for a moment. The headrush made him freeze in place until he could blink away the spots in his eyes. When was the last time he had eaten? He wasn’t super sure, maybe breakfast before they started filming? He would get something after finishing this short segment, it wasn’t worth trying to put the filming off longer, they had to get it done. Mark gave him an odd look as he drug his feet over to the greenscreen.

  
“You good man?” He asked, worry seeping into his tone.

  
“Yeah, just tired. We’ve been filming for a while,” Ethan brushed his worries off, trying to force more energy into his weary body. All he succeeded in doing was making the pounding behind his eyes worse. He just had to finish this one video then he could go home and take a long nap (not really, he still has to film for his main channel but he’s ignoring that at the moment so he doesn’t accidentally scream). He situated himself in front of the camera at the position marked on the floor as Mark busied himself with the camera making sure that it was properly situated before coming and joining him. Ethan closed his eyes before letting his mind fade away far enough to be properly in his filming mindset. Ever since he had stopped taking his medication finding that middle space between focused and loose has been harder and harder, his mind wandering more into the manic nonsense that made him feel a little too empty when coming out of it.

  
The filming started and Ethan felt himself drifting further and further from himself. He tried to pick up on the queues where Mark was indicating him to talk, picking up on alternate sentences and trying to remember what points they had talked about hitting before standing in front of the camera. A numb emptiness seeped into Ethan’s limbs as the filming wound to a close. This was going to be one of the more editing heavy videos and they had agreed to send it over to Lixian along with a large collection of extra clips from the community responses to the channel.

  
Mark clapped to signal the end of the filming and immediately rushed over to cut the camera so there wouldn’t be too much useless film. Ethan stood rooted to the spot for a moment longer, unable to connect to his body enough to get his limbs to move. The manic energy was fading from his mind as the rush of screaming thoughts slowed to a dull emptiness. With an almighty force of his mind he pushed his body forwards out from behind the blank stare of the camera. Once he got enough momentum going he was able to relax into the movement a little more, not needing enough mental force to push his hollow legs to move. He just needed to make it back to the couch, then he could let go of the threads that were straining against his mind.

  
Ethan knew that an unresponsive spell was coming. He should have asked for a break or something. It was too late for any of that now. The couch bumped up against his shins and he felt his body turn and settle down onto the couch. His heart started racing as the disconnectedness between his body and mind increased. A white wash of numbness blanked out his mind. Distantly he registered the low growl of voices talking but no part of him was able to recognize anything about what was being said. His eyes fixated on a blank portion of the wall in front of him as his mind faded completely away from his body. He was empty. Devoid of every part of his being. He hated this frigid nothingness that came from his mind. It chilled his bones and made his heart race. When he slipped this deep he couldn’t move his limbs. It was like being frozen in a statue. Ethan distantly knew that it would fade away in a little while, leaving behind only a trace of the numbness that currently held his body prisoner. This was one of the first times that he had faded this far since moving to LA. It had been several years now and he had honestly thought that it was behind him.

  
Movement half registered in his vision as he stared blankly at the wall. Mark’s face was leaning down in front of him, concern clearly painted across his face. Ethan tried to force his body to move. He didn’t want to worry his friend. He had never explained the dissociative spells that he sometimes fell into, thinking that they were no longer an issue. All he succeeded in doing was straining pointlessly, his muscles uselessly tensed as his body refused to cooperate. It was exhausting to fight against the pervasive emptiness so hard. His his blinks grew longer and longer as exhaustion pulled away the last of his thoughts. A black cloud of nothingness stole the vestiges of his consciousness.

  
Slowly Ethan became aware of himself once more. He was still sitting, his back now resting against the couch. There was a heavy pressure resting on his lap that helped to further pull him into awareness. His right hand was being gripped by someone else’s hand, fingers resting against the pulse point in his wrist. There was a warmth pressed into his left side. It was completely silent. The more that Ethan registered the more centered he felt. The cold emptiness was fading, being replaced by a warmer kind of numbness. He breathed deeply, twitching his right hand to curl his fingers around the warm hand that was nestled in his.

  
“Ethan?” Mark’s low voice whispered in the air to his right. Mark’s grip tightened against his wrist in a quick, comforting squeeze.

  
“Can you open your eyes for us?” Amy asked softly from his left. Ethan let out a low whine. It all felt like too much. He was so tired.

  
“Please, we’re worried about you,” Amy soothed, bringing a hand up to rub his shoulder. Ethan slowly opened his eyes. The light had almost completely faded from the windows and there was only one soft light on in the living room.

  
“There you are. You’re okay,” Mark said quietly. Ethan let the deep timbre of his voice soothe the static in his head that came from trying to force himself to be functioning too soon after shutting down.

  
“What happened?” Mark asked, keeping his voice low and smooth. Ethan opened his mouth to try and answer. They deserved some sort of explanation, no matter how jumbled or messy. He tried to speak, only to find that the words were stuck in his throat. His jaw snapped shut again as he let out another quiet whine.

  
“It’s okay buddy. You don’t have to talk. It’s okay,” Mark said quickly, trying to calm the jump in Ethan’s pulse at realizing that he couldn’t talk. It had been so long since he had gotten nonverbal. That only happened after really bad breakdowns. Ethan took a moment to try and collect himself more, a warm wetness landed on his hand and he started slightly as he realized he was crying. A quiet huff sounded from his lap as Chica lifted her head. That was what the pressure was Ethan realized with a tiny smile. He slowly brought his left hand up to rest on her head, the soft fur further calming the whirlwind of thoughts that had started to overwhelm him.

  
“Is there anything we can do?” Amy asked, keeping her voice quiet and as calm as possible. Ethan thought about it for a little while, the tears still slipping unhindered down his cheeks. He shook his head. There wasn’t anything more that they could do. He just needed to sleep and recenter himself. He had no clue how to convey that to either of them in a way that was helpful. He turned his head to look into Mark’s eyes. He tried to show as much exhaustion as possible, not that it was hard with how little energy he had left in his body.

  
“Do you want to lay down?” Mark asked, recognition flitting across his face as he stared into Ethan’s drained expression. Ethan nodded vigorously, relief making his body feel slightly lighter. Chica hopped up off of his lap as Mark gently sent her to her bed so that they could all stand up.

  
Mark stood up and slowly pulled Ethan up so that he was standing. Pins and needles shot up his legs as Ethan shifted from the sitting position he had been in for far too long. Most of his weight collapsed against Mark as he leaned tiredly against him. Amy stood with them, resting a steadying hand against Ethan’s back. They stumbled together into Mark and Amy’s bedroom. The further they walked, the more Ethan felt in control of his body. He was still drained and exhausted but there was less and less of a disconnect between his body and mind. By the time that they were in front of the bed Ethan was able to stand mostly on his own. Mark shuffled into the bed first pulling the covers back to that they didn’t sleep on top of them. Amy remained with him, taking over the job of steadying him as much as possible while Mark got the bed ready.

  
“Come on in,” Mark patted the bed next to him. Ethan collapsed down onto the silky soft sheets with a loud sigh. He was so exhausted. He wanted to never move again. Mark helped to pull him onto the center of the massive bed so that Amy could slip in behind him.

  
“Do you want space or do you want comfort?” Mark asked, looking calmly into Ethan’s eyes as they lay a short distance apart. Hesitantly Ethan held up two fingers. He needed to be grounded in as many ways as possible at the moment. Mark’s eyes softened as he saw Ethan’s choice.

  
“Do you want me to stay too?” Amy asked quietly, running her fingers through Ethan’s hair gently. He let out a content hum, the feeling of her nails running against his scalp sending warmth racing down his body. He nodded after a moment, not sure if the hum was a clear enough answer.

  
Mark pulled the blankets up over all of them, sliding forwards far enough to pull Ethan into his arms slightly, giving him enough space to figure out what was comfortable for himself. Ethan wiggled a little bit, turning his body around to face Amy slightly as he pressed back against Mark. Amy slid forwards with him, keeping her hand nestled in his hair as she settled her body as a comforting presence against his. Mark tightened his hold and they all relaxed into the warmth of each other’s quiet presence.

  
“We’ll talk in the morning, just let everything fade away and relax for now. You’re okay. We’ve got you,” Mark started to speak slowly and lowly. His deep voice a soothing balm to Ethan’s mind. Ethan felt himself drifting to sleep, exhaustion turning his bones to lead. It was time to sleep. Mark trailed off as his own exhaustion caught up with him, the anxiety over Ethan’s breakdown finally leaving his system as he held onto the younger man.

  
As Ethan slipped into sleep a light smile danced across his lips at the warm feeling of his closest friends pressed comfortingly against him. He slowly exhaled out, falling into the soft embrace of sleep as he whispered out a hushed, “thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might come back and edit some of it later. I hope you enjoyed! EDIT: For some reason indenting didn’t work so enjoy some extra line spaces instead.


End file.
